How is unschooling legal in NSW?
Unschooling is a type of home education that is based on following the interests of the child. Parents that support an unschooling approach do not force their child to learn according to the system of defined by the school curriculum. Children are free to learn how, when and what they choose with the support and…
Healing the toxic inheritance of repressed anger
The main topic that I’ve been thinking about for the last month is the effect of repressed childhood anger on relationships, especially with our children. Many people believe that they were traumatised by an angry parent and they worry about getting angry at their own children. I know many mothers who believe that they have…
Continue Reading Healing the toxic inheritance of repressed anger
Peaceful parenting unlocked my repressed emotions.
When you chose peaceful parenting you may not get much peace for quite a while. What I experienced for many years was far from peaceful. An avalanche of emotions were expressed by my sons that unlocked my own repressed emotions. There was rage, terror, grief and more. It was a FULL ON experience of the…
Continue Reading Peaceful parenting unlocked my repressed emotions.
Are your children getting enough socialisation?
How many homeschoolers HAVEN’T been asked “But what about socialisation?” by extended family, friends or random strangers? Zero. Exactly none. We’ve ALL been grilled on this topic. Which makes some of us a bit jumpy and defensive. Hence the repetition of this question: “Will my children get enough socialisation if we home educate?” I’ve been…
Continue Reading Are your children getting enough socialisation?
How speaking from the heart changed my life.
When my sons were young I found myself saying things that shocked me. on occasions I threatened them and tried to manipulate them into doing what I wanted them to do. It was as if I’d been programmed to talk to children in a certain way. In fact, I had. We unconsciously pick up patterns…
Continue Reading How speaking from the heart changed my life.
What are you teaching your child about money?
When we fight with them in the toy store, are we teaching our child that money is scarce? Money is a big, scary topic for so many of us. It can be confronting to notice our fears and beliefs around money (and the lack thereof) and how we are passing these on to the next…
Continue Reading What are you teaching your child about money?
How conscious parenting changed my life in amazing ways.
Are you sitting on the fence, not knowing which way to go in your parenting journey? Maybe you’ve been doing all the “attachment parenting” things with your young child, but it’s all become much harder now that they’ve grown a will of their own and are asserting it? Are you wondering: “Why won’t they cooperate…
Continue Reading How conscious parenting changed my life in amazing ways.
Unschooling means letting go of the work ethic
If you choose a path of unschooling and you let your child play and learn by following their own interests it’s almost guaranteed that you will freak out from time to time. During my 15 years of unschooling my two sons I freaked out often. One of the top causes of my stress and anxiety…
Continue Reading Unschooling means letting go of the work ethic
How to stay calm in the middle of family drama.
Are your children screaming for your attention?Are they creating a family drama? Or is it the thoughts in your head that are screaming for your attention and creating drama? Maybe it’s both! How do you stay calm while your child is screaming? Over the years I’ve noticed that it’s the thoughts I have about the…
Continue Reading How to stay calm in the middle of family drama.
What to do when your husband is freaking out about unschooling.
A partner who is freaking out is something that many home educating parents (mostly mums) face. It’s something I faced too; not just once, but many times during our 15 year unschooling journey with our two sons. There is no doubt that unschooling or self-directed learning is still considered a very unconventional, even a radical…
Continue Reading What to do when your husband is freaking out about unschooling.
When someone is critical of your child do you feel mum shame?
You know the scenario: someone says something critical about your child’s dreadlocked hair, or the fact that they’ve just hit another child, or that they can’t read fluently at age 9. Your child may, or may not be upset, but you’re devastated. Crushed. Hit by a ton of mum shame.I felt the weight of that…
Continue Reading When someone is critical of your child do you feel mum shame?
How to handle your child’s video game passion peacefully.
I lived with two boys who were passionate and dedicated gamers for 10 years. It was the main focus of their days. I chose to handle their passionate interest in gaming by encouraging it and exploring it to the full. I never imposed limits on my son’s screen time and when problems arose we found…
Continue Reading How to handle your child’s video game passion peacefully.
10 reasons not to limit screens or gaming
Worried parents are told that limiting their children’s screen time is essential. “Experts” advise restricting access and most parents go along with this. I understand why. There are so many scary stories going around about gaming addiction, technology that’s designed to manipulate our minds and harm done to children’s brain development. If you are looking…
Would you like to be immune to insults?
“Sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me.” Let’s skip over the “sticks and stones” bit for the moment. That’s for another day. Names can never hurt me. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way to live? That’s how we all used to live when we were very young, before we…
Is unschooling turning out different than you hoped?
I hear people say “I see all those unschoolers with kids following their passion for art, science or writing …….. and all my son wants to do is to play video games all day.” When I began unschooling my two sons 15 years ago, I had no idea about what I was doing or what…
Continue Reading Is unschooling turning out different than you hoped?
I wouldn’t use force to teach my children – so I had to find another way.
I’m writing this in case you don’t want to force your child to do things, but you feel pressure all around you. Maybe you feel pressure to force your child to go to school or to sit down and do schoolwork at home or to take away their iPad – and it doesn’t sit well…
Continue Reading I wouldn’t use force to teach my children – so I had to find another way.
What is deschooling and why do I need it?
If you are a home educating parent, deschooling can shift your life from stressed and difficult to a life of freedom and joyful flow with your family. It is THAT important. This is how I define deaschooling: It is about parents getting out of the school mindset and actively supporting their children in a child-led…
Why I chose unschooling
I didn’t really choose unschooling – it chose me. It arose out of a desire for freedom. I wanted my children to have freedom in their learning and their daily life and I wanted freedom from the role of education-controller. When we started unschooling 15 years ago it felt like I was walking blindfolded through…
Do you feel your child is more than you can handle?
Do you have a child that seems more sensitive, strong-willed or anxious that you thought a child could be? Or perhaps you think they’re more demanding, spirited or express more intense emotions than other people’s children? Maybe all of the above? 💥💥💥 I know from experience that this can mean more feelings of overwhelm, more…
Continue Reading Do you feel your child is more than you can handle?
Why I stopped trying to be a “good mother”.
I was taught, by my parents and society, that I should strive to succeed, achieve and do worthy and lucrative work. In addition to that I should try and look a certain way and have a thin, healthy body; I should add to my knowledge and possessions and grow into a good daughter, friend and…
Continue Reading Why I stopped trying to be a “good mother”.
How do I stop yelling at my child?
What happens in your home when your child gets upset, angry or lashes out? Or they make a huge mess or fight with their sibling? Do you sometimes notice yourself speaking to your children in the same way that you were spoken to as a child?Do you find yourself blaming, threatening or yelling at them,…
Just listen – even though it’s hard.
We are obsessed with trying to fix problems. Especially with our children. Have you noticed that when your child gets upset or scared that you leap in with advice or try and fix their problem? Have you noticed that when YOU are upset or scared that you dislike it when someone tries to fix you? I’m…
How to live without any family rules
If you have sensitive, free-spirited children like I do, then you know that rules and restrictions create problems. If you place yourself in the role of the controlling parent whose job it is to make and enforce the rules you create a lot of conflict and emotional pain. You’re also going to be the one…
My biggest lessons from 18 years of peaceful parenting.
Eighteen years ago I used to swim in the sea pool near my home every day when I was pregnant with my first child. Bobbing about like a small whale. It was summer, so the sea helped me keep cool and it took the weight off my legs. I was excited and very, very nervous.…
Continue Reading My biggest lessons from 18 years of peaceful parenting.
My deschooling journey: how I came to love home education.
I’ve been a home educator for a long time now. At the time of writing my eldest son is 18 and my youngest son is 14 and they’d both been home educated their whole lives, until my eldest son decided to try out high school when he turned 17. It’s been a very interesting, and…
Continue Reading My deschooling journey: how I came to love home education.
The most effective form of self-care for parents.
I used to believe that the best self-care was to have time away from my children. I was desperate for a break from their demands for attention and I felt overwhelmed and exhausted. Getting away from my children, even if only for an hour or two was something I craved. I wanted walks in nature,…
Continue Reading The most effective form of self-care for parents.
What is Joyful Parenting?
Joyful Parenting is based on the understanding that it is possible to live with your children without stress and struggle. You can have a family life that is free of worry, battles and resentment.
How to solve problems with your children without threats, bribes or limits.
Creative Problem Solving can help with all the problems that parents struggle with the most. Things like……battles over screen time and gaming. ensuring your house is livable for everyone,
Continue Reading How to solve problems with your children without threats, bribes or limits.
What dolphins taught me about harmonious family life.
Swimming with Spinner dolphins I recently had the privilege of swimming with wild dolphins off the Kona coast of the Big Island, Hawaii with dolphin researcher and advocate Roberta Goodman. It taught me a lot about family harmony and living in flow. I’m not very familiar with dolphins. I’ve seen Bottlenose dolphins playing in the…
Continue Reading What dolphins taught me about harmonious family life.
7 reasons not to set limits with your child.
How many times have you heard someone say that you should be setting clear limits for your child, as if this was the solution to most of the difficult problems that parents face? Many parents believe that if they aren’t setting limits, or they aren’t working effectively, that they are somehow failing. There are at…
Continue Reading 7 reasons not to set limits with your child.
5 shifts I made to transform my marriage
My husband and I have shared 16 years of intense, passionate and challenging marriage. Things had been the same way between us for a long time. Then just in the last few months our relationship has changed dramatically. The change is so wonderful I can hardly believe it. The intermittent episodes of strain and disharmony…
My sons love superheros and I am worried about the violence.
Post on Facebook: “Hi everyone, my 7yo boys currently love anything superhero. They have limited daily screen time and I try to give them as much choice as possible in how they use this (interesting iPad apps, access to certain websites, DVDs) but I feel like I’m constantly battling with them at the moment as…
Continue Reading My sons love superheros and I am worried about the violence.
Don’t blame me!
TO BLAME: To think or declare that someone is responsible for a fault or wrong. Most of us blame without giving it a moment’s consideration. We blame others for hurting us. We blame our child for making a huge mess and ruining our day. We blame our parents for criticising or neglecting us. We…
How to live well and prosper: life skills that adults and children can learn together.
I am absorbed in an adventure. It is a wild, challenging, unruly adventure that takes place every day in my own home. It is an adventure in learning. When my family of four embarked on our home education journey over ten years ago my attention was largely focused on the sort of learning that is…
It’s time to have more trust in human nature
There is so much confusion about human nature in our society. We all know deep down that we are innately loving, kind, curious and have our own unique intelligence and purpose in life. And for most of us this deep knowing is obscured from an early age by learned beliefs. We pick up a worldview…
Continue Reading It’s time to have more trust in human nature
Are you worried that your child is addicted to video games?
When you think about the amount of time that your child spends playing video games do the words “obsession” and “addiction” come to mind? Do you fear for your child’s physical and mental health? Is this an issue that keeps you awake at night? This is THE hot topic among parents that I talk to.…
Continue Reading Are you worried that your child is addicted to video games?
Spiritual practice can be fun?
How many times have you told yourself that you should meditate because it would be good for you? And how long do your good intentions usually last? We all know that mediation is supposed to be a good for health and wellbeing. Many of us would like to have a regular spiritual practice that keeps…
Is our world dying, or is it waking up?
It is so very, very easy to get lost in despair about the state of our world. Those of us who are passionately in love with the natural environment can become overwhelmed and hopeless or alternatively very angry as we witness the great upheavals of change and loss that are occurring on earth today. Often…
Life is just so exciting
Hello Gentle Readers! There is a whole lot happening in my life at the moment and I want to let you know about it. The BIG news is that I have finished writing my book “Being with Children in Peace, Joy and Freedom: A Book of Skills and Resources for Parents.” After five years of…
A natural flow of desire and challenge
I have these moments when inspiration comes to me. So often it is when I go walking on the mountain near my home. I park the car part way up and then walk the last kilometre up the road to the top. The road climbs up through a tall forest of turpentine and eucalypts. The…
When giving is no longer helpful
I have spent most of the last 14 years feeling overwhelmed by parenting. Thankfully, this has eased up a lot in the last few years but that familiar feeling still comes to visit. It feels much more subtle than it used to but it can still have me in tears and even make me feel…
I have learned so much about myself from my children
I love to bask in the vitality and joy that my children beam out every day. I love to see how much they are enjoying life, learning and achieving their own goals. But it has not always been so rosy. What I have seen in my children has also been confronting. There were things about…
Continue Reading I have learned so much about myself from my children
Have I missed any great parenting books?
I am getting close to finishing the book that I have been working on for the last five years and I plan on publishing it this year. It is titled Being with Children in Peace, Joy and Freedom: A book of Skills and Resources for Parents. One of the aims of the book is to…
What to do about strong fears and persistent worries
There are times when my fears and worries about my children have overwhelmed and overtaken me. It has helped my a great deal to identify and name my fears. I have feared failure as a parent: that my children will not be happy and healthy and that I will be judged by others. I have…
Continue Reading What to do about strong fears and persistent worries
How can I help with my child’s problems?
“Exude the state of being that you want your child to end up with and they will find their way to that.” Bentinho Massaro. Being genuinely helpful to my children when they have problems is something that brings joy into my life. I want to give help that is calm, supportive and that increases my…
The wisdom of gaming
I think most parents would accept that it is important for children to have time to play. In fact, many of us think that it is great for children to have lots of time to play. Things get more complicated when we start to talk about different types of play. When I was a child…
Understanding our reactions to teasing
There is no doubt about it. Seeing our children be teased or criticised by others can be tricky. I so clearly remember my own reactions to my child being teased; the rush of pain and defence when I heard the comment made. The desperate wanting to protect my child from the pain I felt sure…
Daily tooth brushing and peaceful parenting: can they coexist?
“It is my responsibility to make sure that my son cleans his teeth every day,” I used to believe this very firmly. So do many parents I know. It seems like a reasonable belief until you have a child (or two!) that refuses to brush their teeth despite repeated requests. No amount of explanation as to why…
Continue Reading Daily tooth brushing and peaceful parenting: can they coexist?
How I discovered the joys of less doing and more Being
Do you ever feel exhausted, overwhelmed or resentful as a result of what you do as a parent? Do you find that there are times when it all gets too much and you start loosing your temper and yelling at your children? I used to experience this often. I understand, now, that these were symptoms…
Continue Reading How I discovered the joys of less doing and more Being
Food, glorious food: our journey from nightmare to nourishment
I love food and I love caring for my body with the best food that I can provide. Until I had children, I thought that I had no real issues around food. It wasn’t a big deal for me. Having children changed all that. Not straight away, of course, but over a couple of years…
Continue Reading Food, glorious food: our journey from nightmare to nourishment
How will my children learn to stick at things?
I have chosen to have a relationship with my children that is free of punishment or rewards. We don’t have rules and I don’t force my children to do what I want. It might sound crazy to many people but it works wonderfully well for us. As I discussed in my last post, I don’t…
Continue Reading How will my children learn to stick at things?
Swimming, riding a bike, reading, piano … should I push my child to do these things?
An issue that I have discussed with friends and family many times in the last few years is whether, as parents, we should push our children to do things that we think will be beneficial for them. Consider this scenario. I have a great plan for my son to learn to ride a bike. I…
I grow what I choose to give attention to
What you resist will persist. This has been such an important lesson for me to learn. It is so easy to resist things about our children, to not accept them as they are. How many times have I wanted to change something about my child? Somehow the problems came to dominate my thinking. Unfortunately, focusing…
Finding deep peace in parenting
I received the most extraordinary gifts when my children were born. These two people that entered my life have beamed out love, beauty and aliveness every day of their lives. They brought such delight into my life. And yet, living with and caring for them also challenged me to an extent that I was totally…
What about setting limits?
Of all the issues that come up for parents one of the most difficult and confusing is the one of when to say Yes and when to say No. And yet it’s the issue that comes up most often. No wonder so many parents are stressed. The reason it comes up so often is that…